The madness began when he posted a Vine of himself violating a box of brown-sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts on Vine. The clip was quickly removed, but Thot Pocket took to Twitter to celebrate his conquest:. Emboldened by the response, he decided that he was not put on this earth to fornicate with cardboard boxes alone. He had hotter literally snack foods to bed. And then, just like that, it was all over.
Hot Pockets' new slogan is "irresistibly hot," so of course, someone took that to heart and had sex with one via Total Frat Move. So, the Internet got what it asked for. Soon after, the official Hot Pockets Twitter account blocked this dude:. Which is weird, because penetration is the sincerest form of flattery.
When Penetrating a Hot Pocket, a Condom is Recommended
Remember that guy who put, um, himself inside a Hot Pocket? Now he's speaking out in a tell-all interview with First We Feast , because when you post a video of yourself sexing a Hot Pocket online, you probably don't have any sense of shame or privacy. Hot Pocket Guy talks personal details he's 18, he says "yo" a lot , as well as what kind of Hot Pocket he had sex with ham and cheese, because it was the only one at the convenience store he frequents. Most troublesome, though, is the reveal that he works at a restaurant as a chef, although he assures the interviewer that he would never bang any of the food he handles.
The teen, known by his Twitter handle VersacePockets, explained that his reason was to gain internet fame. In an ill-advised tweet, he said, " retweets and I'll [expletive] a hotpocket on Vine after I heat it up. It wasn't the most comfortable experience, as this teenager obviously did not think of the consequences of putting the more sensitive areas of his body into a pocket of microwaved cheese and ham. His feat may have been for naught, since rather than giving him internet fame, he was kicked off of Twitter and Vine, and blocked by hotpockets. Here's hoping that VersacePockets finds a more constructive use of his time.